Disconnection

I have a rocky relationship with Facebook. There are things about it that I loathe. The impenetrablility and whimsy of its privacy policies; its UI and UX; the sometimes overbearing self-reflection. But I've always felt somewhat hostage to it. I've considered leaving, but I know that I would miss the content, the events, the random discussions, the connections to people which is its great redeeming quality.

I think I've found my best way past this. 

A couple of weeks ago, I deleted the Facebook app from my mobile devices. This has several important effects. Firstly, no notifications following you around. If I want Facebook, I have to go to it. It does not seek me out. Secondly, because I don’t log into Facebook on my work machine, this means I generally only check it when I’m at home (or if I’m carrying my personal laptop around, which actually isn’t all that often).

It has surprised me just how much of an effect this has had. At first, I found myself with the impulse to check Facebook when out and about. This quickly dissipated, to the extent that it has now become almost an afterthought. I enjoy using it a lot more, but I don’t feel compelled to check it on any given day (and will now regularly forget to, whereas before I used to sometimes automatically try to open Facebook while I was already on Facebook…).

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that we are slaves to social media, but the feeling has been oddly liberating. Facebook has become more enjoyable as a consequence. The one exception is when I'm travelling for more than a couple of days. If I'm on a different time zone, I like to have an easier connection to people!

The other thing I’ve started doing—or, more properly, stopped doing—is ‘liking’ things on Facebook. Nothing at all. It’s weird what an ingrained, easy reflex this had become. By not ‘liking’ things, I’ve forced myself to be more engaged with content (or not!)—it pushes me towards actually commenting, sharing, or just leaving it be.

Everyone I've spoken to about this—which started as an experiment—has liked the idea, and I've even induced (without much persuasion) some others to try the same thing. I found the whole thing entirely positive. It's made me realise that I'm not 'missing' anything (that can't wait or afford to be missed altogether).