1) One word: static. Dress in wool or silk; wear rubber shoes.
2) Switch off your phone. Turn on only if making or receiving calls.
3) Alienate your friends and associates. Fewer notifications to drain your power.
4) Two words: potato batteries. Swap expensive charging gadgets for natural resources and a bit of ingenuity. Four to five potatoes should be good for those ten minutes or so of emergency charge.
5) Remain within 30ft of a cell tower, so the signal doesn’t have to travel as far. Move in controlled, tactical dashes from tower to tower.
6) Three words: radioisotope thermoelectric generator. Good enough for NASA; good enough for you. Added bonus: you'll never again be cold (or burdened by a rigid skeleton).
 |
| You won't need to pay for central heating for the next 87.7 years. Image: Idaho National Laboratory by 2.0 |
7) Place a ’73%' sticker over the corner of your screen. What the eye can’t see, the mind can't stress over.
8) Set your brightness to zero. Jab wildly at the screen, and let autocorrect pick up the slack.
9) Permanently tether your phone to a wall socket; never take it out of the house. It amazes me that no-one’s tried this before.
10) Buy a Blackberry. You won’t care about your phone.
Sadly I can't find a YouTube video of Alex Dunphy convincing her siblings that they can charge their phones by a) rubbing the battery (oh, the days of removable phone batteries!) on their hair, or b) holding it in their mouth.
ReplyDelete