Top 5 Retro Games (that are still good)

Blooooog

*cranks handle*

*content spews forth out of your internet pipes*

Bloooooog

*cups ear* what? 

Oh, it doesn't work that way? I actually have to write things to keep this blog going. Well, okay. 

In case you hadn't picked it up by now (and it's practically painted over this blog on letters exactly 97 feet high), I'm a big gaming fan. Someone magnificent recently posted on Facebook a list of IGN's top modern videogames and suggested that I give my take on it. Well, I'm definitely going to do that, but since I've been on of a nostalgia trip recently (or as I like to call it a DIVNG EXPEDITION THROUGH TIME AND SPACE), I though I'd instead start with my top five classic games.

Now, this would be no fun if I shared all these games and you had no way to experience them for yourselves. You don't want to go diving through Cash Converter's back room to find a 15 year old PC running windows 3.1 that can play these in the original, crisp technicolor fidelity for which they were designed. Nor do you want to spend four hours getting them to run in an emulator only to find they're so horribly dated that you can't get through more than five minutes without your brain sliding out of your right ear. 

So I've limited myself to five games that you can still play and that aren't so antiquated in their design as to be unplayable. Sure, they'll be dated, but many of these are actually better designed than some of the high-budget mass market crap that people spend £40+ on these days (some of it. There's still plenty of quality out there, even in the mega AAA launches). You'll largely be able to pick these up for less than a tenner. Or free! How neat is that?

Okay, so let’s jump in. 

5 - The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

This is undoubtedly a classic. I’m with many people in thinking that the follow-up, Majora’s Mask, is a better all-round game, but Ocarina of Time is the enduring memory. It was one of the first games I played that gave me a sense of open-world adventure, of optional and demanding side-quests that really let you dive deep into the game, and above all, gave me that sense of wonder. I’ll bet most of you have played this one in some form another, but if not, it’s still pretty easy to get hold off, thanks to a number of remakes on just about every system Nintendo’s made over the last tyears. Therein lies the downside, however - Nintendo tends to keep a pretty tight hold of their franchises (which is arguably all they’ve got going on right now chortle chortle) - so if you don’t have one of their consoles, you might struggle a little. That said, it’s very easy to find as an emulator ROM, if that’s your thing.

4 - Monkey Island 2 - LeChuck’s Revenge

Now, this list could have easily been composed entirely of nineties Lucasarts point-and-click adventure games. I’m realising more and more that they are some of the finest games I will ever play. It still amazes me whenever I revisit them and I’m reminded of how instrumental they were in forming my language (and love of it) and humour. Sure, many of them suffer from that totally unfathomable video game logic at times, where you are required to rub together two objects that appear entirely unrelated to achieve a bizarre effect to further your goal, but these games all contain moment after moment of utter joy.

I’ve allowed myself just two of these games on this list. The first is Monkey Island 2. The original Monkey Island game was, unsurprisingly, phenomenal, but I prefer the second in terms of moving ahead with the design and humour of the original.

If you haven’t played this sort of point-and-click adventure game before, I think you’ll find it pretty different from most games on offer these days. There are a few studios trying to do the same sort of thing (the example that sticks out most in my mind being TellTale Games), but I honestly believe you can’t beat the originals.

Gadzooks, how do I play it? 

Another easy one - Lucasarts launched ‘special edition’ versions of Monkey Islands 1 and 2 before the studio was closed down (it’s to my eternal sadness that they never finished the equivalents for some of my other favourites). These rereleases feature enhanced graphics/art, voice acting, and a UI overhaul. The original versions of all of these things are great, but the excellent and faithful paint job does actually add to the experience. The best part is you can switch at any time between the original and enhanced versions.

3 - Oddworld - Abe’s Odyssey

I’m pretty sure this was the first game I owned on the original Playstation (perhaps other than Time Crisis - I forget. But what a great Christmas that was!). Fiendishly difficult, I enjoyed it but struggled immensely with it. Having replied it in the last couple of months, I can see why. It’s a demanding puzzle/platform game in an utterly bizarre universe (it’s called ‘Oddworld’ - I’m not sure what I expected), putting you in control of Abe, a slaughterhouse worker who finds that his people are next on the menu. He has to escape the corporate dystopia, rescue his comrades (or get them killed in interesting and highly amusing ways), and bring down Rupture Farms. 

It is tricky and rewarding. The sequel, Abe’s Exodus, is also excellent, and adds some features to make it more playable, such as quick save, but I think it dilutes the experience a little. If nothing else, it was the first game I played that had a dedicated ‘fart’ button.

Getting strange creatures killed in bizarre and perversely hilarious ways? Sign me up!

The original games are both playable through Steam, and Abe’s Odyssey has just been rereleased in a ‘remastered’ edition - ‘New n Tasty’. It’s not out on all platforms yet, and I haven’t had the chance to play it, but it seems to carry the spirit of the original.

2 - Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis

And here we have the other Lucasarts game. Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis is another game for which I am only just starting to appreciate the excellence of its design. It’s my favourite Indiana Jones adventure over any of the films in the trilogy (yes, trilogy). Dr Jones is set on the trail of the lost city of Atlantis, a global yomp featuring Nazis, mysterious metals, hot air balloons and one of Plato’s lost dialogues. It’s basically everything I want in a game. 

It follows the standard Lucasarts ‘point and click’ formula, with a few variations. There’s less of a focus on the humour (don’t get me wrong, though, it is funny). There’s a (rather clunky) combat mechanic - though you can avoid using it for the most part. In fact, you have a choice how to pursue the bulk of the story - as part of a double act, using Indy’s wits, or relying more on your fists. Each change up the way a good third or more of the game plays out, which is actually really awesome when it comes to replaying it.

It’s a sweet romp of a game that lets you feel like you’re playing out one of the great ‘whip and wonders’ adventures of the big screen. And it’s the game that taught 9-year old me where Algiers was (and presumably still is).

What good’s a whip in this day and age? Who am I kidding, how do I play it?

Sadly, no remastered edition for this one (boo), but you can pick it up on Steam. Old games always tend to have a few compatibility teething issues, but this has always run just fine on my Mac and PC.

Honourable mentions here are Day of the Tentacle and Sam and Max Hit the Road. Beautiful, hilarious, utterly absurd.

1 - Baldur’s Gate II - Shadows of Amn

C’mon, was there ever any doubt?

Anyone who has had the (mis-)fortune to engage me on the topic of video games for any length of time will hear me talk about BGII. It is, in my mind, the paragon of gaming achievement. Sure, there are games that are my new darlings, for a time, occasionally even taking the title of ‘favourite’, but it’s all temporary. It always comes back to BGII.

It’s a proper Dungeons & Dragons RPG game. You pick a class, pick a race, wake up in a prison, and go from there. It’s an adventure that takes you overground, oversea, undersea, and off the Prime Material Plane altogether. Your character is whatever you want them to be, they can end up owning a castle, running a guild of thieves and assassins, or owning a really nifty extraplanar transportation contraption. The characters around you are rich, deep and have real personality. All this with decades-old sprites, text and damn fine voice acting. It’s an epic which still to this day has my finding new little things I never came across before.

Alright, I’m starting to gush. And this is making me really want to play it. That happens a lot.

GIVE IT TO ME NOW

Sure. It’s still possible to find the original (and it works - e.g. on GOG), but the knights in shining armour at Beamdog have done a snazzy Enhanced Edition of both Baldur’s Gate games. Utterly faithful to the original, just packed with more stuff and some playability improvements and bug fixes.

Okay confession time. I’ve never actually finished it. Well, okay, I have, but I’ve never truly, really got to the end, which is to say the concluding chapter of the whole thing - the epic ‘Throne of Baal’ expansion. I’ve got right to it, just ran into stonewalls that sort of...stopped me. What I’d love to do, and hopefully will do if I ever have anything like enough time (and interest), is to stream and/or record it. From the beginning. Start of the original Baldur’s Gate, right the way through.

This time, I might even finish.

What are you top picks for old games, whether they’re still easy to find and get running or not?

Is Bigger Discriminating?

An interesting counterpoint to my 'Is Bigger Better' reaction yesterday. 

http://m.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2014/09/are-the-new-iphones-too-big-for-womens-hands/379911/

Is Bigger Better?

Me in 2015 (artist's impression)

After the Apple announcement yesterday, I mentioned to a few people the to was going to get the iPhone Six Plus (I have, in fact, been wanting them to make a larger iPhone for years, and doubted that they would until they forked products with the 5s/5c last year). Their response was 'why?'.

I was initially a little stumped. Of course I wanted a bigger phone, why wouldn't I (if there's one thing I know, it's that 'moar screenz is bettor')? But couldn't put my finger on the reason, nor why the Apple Watch excites me so much.

After some thought, I realised it boils down to this. Why is a tablet better than a phone? Okay, well sometimes maybe it isn't, but more people have been talking seriously about tablets as a PC replacement than about phones taking over (I think they're wrong, right now, but still, it tells you something).

So why don't we just carry tablets around? Obviously the very size that makes them useful works against them. We need something small enough to fit in a pocket or small bag and, just occasionally, to hold up to our faces.

So the 'phablet' phenomenon is an attempt to bring some of the expanded usefulness of tablets to phones. The size increase has some disadvantages, and they're not for everyone. It depends on your needs and habits. Bigger is bulkier, harder to hold, harder to use one-handed. For me, that's not a dealbreaker - the benefits of the bigger and better display and keyboard outweigh the annoyances - but what if there were a way to mitigate these?

The annoyances of a large phone are greatest when out and about and walking around. So, how we can take advantage of the phone's features without whipping it out every five minutes? Have an adjunct device strapped to your wrist.

The Apple Watch (or, fair enough, an equivalent device) at the very least picks up the strain here. How many times have you dug your phone out when it vibrates only to find it's an irrelevant notification? Check it on your watch. Reply to texts from your watch. Quickly check the time, weather, make calls, control other devices, get summary reports - all on your watch. That's aside from all of the stuff that it actually does in and of itself.

There's no one killer thing a smart watch does - I don't want it to. I want it to make the main device I use - my phone - better and improve the way I use it. This is the future I see. More of the phone as a 'hub', combined with adjoining devices that expand what it can do while piggybacking off its capabilities. These are essentially 'modular', adding and complementing functionality when it is needed. One of the things I think people misunderstand about Google Glass is that if you own it, you don't have to wear it all the time. You can take it off, for politeness, for practicality, and yet still get the benefits that it offers when they're useful.

Of course, there are some big questions to be answered about Apple Watch in particular. Firstly, does it actually work? Secondly, can it do everything promised (if it's 60%+ of what's shown at launch, I'll still likely be happy). Finally - battery life. This is going to be the knotty topic. On the one hand, if it's one-day-per-charge, well, that's not great, but I'm not going to be wearing it at night and am already pretty well trained to connect my phone to charge anyway. If it's getting to not-quite-making-it-through-the-day-territory, then it's going to be pretty horrendous. Time will tell, but I'm optimistic.

So I'm excited. For me, pairing the iPhone Six Plus and the Apple Watch seems like the way to go. With some of the Continuity handoff features starting in the new iOS and OSX in particular, I'm really excited about what the next 2-3 years of personal technology will bring.

Me in 2017 (enslaved artist's impression)

What's in the Bag?

I totally didn't post this here yet! I did, indeed, go through everything that was in my bag - just not in a blog post. Here's what I got:

Gearing Update: A Kit Retrospective

As many of you know, I'm a bit of a gear fiend. I tend to carry around more stuff than I strictly need, on the grounds that at some point it might come in handy. This has the power to amaze, as I whip out that elusive item at just the right time (that sounds rather too much like a euphemism, in retrospect), and to frustrate, as someone rolls their eyes at me while I throw a messenger bag over my shoulder for a simple trip to the corner shop.

Last year, I wrote a post on some of the more useful day-to-day gear I had accrued. At the time, I had been using it for just a few weeks. Now, just over a year on, I thought I'd give my thoughts on those same tools after carting them round for a longer period of time. This is a two-part post. Here, I'll talk about the products I mentioned last year. In the next part, I'll give you a look at what I currently have in my bag.

Speaking of bags, let's start with that.


Bag of Holding - ThinkGeek (49.99 USD)

The Bag of Holding is a geek classic, made by ThinkGeek in homage to the iconic Dungeons and Dragons Bag of Holding. This has been my primary bag for the past year. I carry it almost every day, and it has largely replaced my beloved Oakley Kitchen Sink backpack (though I still bring that out on occasion).

A year on, I've just reached the point where I'm starting to consider a new bag. The Bag of Holding is still fantastic, but it definitely has some downsides. It can hold a truly impressive amount of stuff and has a good number of pouches and compartments. But I can help but feel that a few things are traded off for the 'geek caché'.

The durability is okay. The shoulder strap supplied broke pretty quickly and I'm starting to see some wear and holes around some of the fasteners (but for a year of near-daily use, that's not so bad for a bag of that price). The inherent problem in the design is that, while it can hold a lot of stuff, if you really load it up, it tends to bulge out like it's recovering from an epic curry and when you pick it up by the strap the flap tends to pop open, like, well, like my trousers after an epic curry. The other issue with this is, since it's a messenger bag (though they do sell it as a rucksack), when it's fully loaded it's heavy and uncomfortable to carry. That's the time when I really miss using the Kitchen Sink.

I love the bag, but I'm starting to cast my eyes lasciviously at other ones (gear hound that I am) which offer similar dimensions, but that hold themselves together better and are easier to carry without developing back problems. Watch this space.


Telepen - True Utility (6.50 GBP)

Boy, I loved this pen when I got it. I still do, in principle at least anyway, but it's much harder to judge as it escaped from me about six months ago. It was great having a tiny-but-highly-functional pen on my keys, but because of the way I carry and treat my keys the fastening of the pen wasn't sufficient to keep it in. After a few close calls, it finally went missing, leaving me with just the stylish shiny topper on my keyring.

I love the gadget itself, but I've not felt compelled to replace it. I have a pen permanently wedged in one pocket anyway, and carry several more in my bag, so it felt a bit redundant. For anyone who needs a discrete or convenient way to carry a pen, it's a great tool, but its role is easily filled in other ways.


Microfleece Hoody - ScotteVest (75 USD)

If there's one thing I wish I had more of, more of the time, it's pockets (I long for the day when things like this aren't highly unfashionable). The Microfleece hoody gives me more pockets than a mutant kangaroo, and for that, I love it. The one problem with it is that for half the year, it's far too hot to wear. I haven't taken the time to check out any of ScotteVest's other products, but I might be interested in investing in something more lightweight that offers similar storage (and space for internal wiring).

(Editing this blog post actually prompted me to go back to the ScotteVest site for the first time in a while. It's my sort of site - they have a ticker that shows 'total pockets sold'.)


Grid-It - Cocoon (varies by size; should be sub 20 GBP)

Ahhhh, I've been saving this one until last, and with good reason. It's one thing that I am still unequivocally delighted with. I will continue to enthusiastically rave about these - I recommend them to anyone who carries any but the most spartan of bags on a regular basis. It does everything I need it to - it keeps my small items organised (also allowing a quick visual check to see if anything is missing); it allows for easy swapping of key items between bags; it lets you carry lots of smalls bits and cables without losing them in the crevices of your bag or turning them into a rats' nest. It fits whatever you need it to.

My current configuration

Seriously, if nothing else, get one of these. They come in lots of different sizes, so you can find one to fit a massive bag like mine or a much smaller handbag. You can even get them as part of a laptop or tablet sleeve. Scroll through threads of people's 'Everyday Carry gear' (for those who are as obsessive about their stuff as I am), this is the one item I see again and again.

Alright, that wraps it up for now. Come back on Monday, when I'll be showing you what I carry right now.

The Invasion Spreads

This blog's been getting a little quiet again... We've been going through the oh-so-fun process of moving and all that entails, which, among other things, has rather slowed the process of content writing. Normal service should resume soon.

Having talked recently about the boardgameliness of XCOM, someone was kind enough to point me in the direction of this beauty, bringing XCOM's particular brand of self-inflicted hell kicking and screaming into the physical world.

XCOM has the potential to be a great board game, so I hope it adequately translates the setting and the experience. The acid test for that, in my mind, is whether it has me and up to three other friends screaming, at the game and at each other, as we are collectively thrashed by a small pile of cardboard.

Just to ensure that the full joyous horror of XCOM doesn't manifest in the real world, Fantasy Flight are using a companion app (or alternatively a web tool, presumably browser-based). This could go either way. It will either be an absolute pain, imposing an unnecessary shackle on the flow of the game, or a positive innovation that improves the experience.

We won't know for sure until we get to play it, but from the way they've described the game, I'm not sure it's adding anything truly 'new', but let's wait and see - their suggestions of it teaching how to play are promising, though not enough to justify the app in its own right. If nothing else, it will provide a focal point - an object of hatred to hurl across the room when the going gets tough (which is less messy, I guess, than flipping the table). I may need to invest in a better iPad case, however.

Fantasy Flight generally does a great job on its board games, both in terms of polish and production value. It doesn't turn out perfect games all the time, but you can be pretty sure you'll get what you pay for so I have faith that if anyone can pull this off, they can. I look forward to yelling obscenities in their name - this will happen whether the game is good or bad, for different reasons.

XCOM: The Board Game will be released in or before the fourth quarter of this year.

Vigilo Confid...Damnit, Missed the Target

I'm looking down the sights, the plasma-rifle wielding X-Ray at the other end. He's taken out half my team already (damn these Thin Men alien bastards), but I can still pull this one out and stop the abductions in Italy. I just need to take this guy down, then the other two members of my squad can bury the last two with explosives.

32% hit chance.

Never tell me the odds.

Squeeze the trigger.

Fuck.

Despite all my careful sequencing, that one miss screws up my entirely plan, causing the remaining aliens to quickly mop up the last three poor sods unfortunate enough to be sent on 'Operation Sinking Feeling'.

---

'We can save this world'

Anyone who has played XCOM is probably familiar with this sort of experience. Playing the game is an oddly masochistic relationship - somewhat a characteristic of the roguelike experience (while I've only rarely heard XCOM described as a roguelike, it does share many of the same properties - encouraging repeat play, refinement of strategy and a willingness to fail and relearn).

If you don't know what XCOM is already, seriously, check it out. If you have any love of strategy games, roguelikes, or just videogames in general, it's worth a look. Heck, even if you like boardgames, the pacing and play style can feel very 'boardgamey'.

My usual MO with this game is to sink 10-20 hours into it over a week or weekend, before finally setting it down after an excess buildup of frustration and coming back to it a few weeks later.

The alien threat is consistently paced just ahead of your own soldiers and technology until at least the mid- to late-game. Then, if you have been playing right and have got just a little bit lucky, you can start to pull ahead.

Suffering breeds skill. Progress is fun and frustration is, well, frustrating. It falls into the niche of some games from the last few years (Demons' Souls and Dark Souls spring to mind) that make success all the sweeter for being hard won. No hand holding, no desperation to show off the story, just a good, consistent challenge.

I believe this is the point where I started singing 'Shittity-doo-dah'

Not that the game doesn't play on your emotions - in fact, it does so in a way that it shouldn't really be possible in such a story-light game. Part of it is the frustration factor, yes. Even the best-written story in a game struggles to compete with the sheer controller-throwing frustration of a properly challenging game (sidenote: we PC gamers really lose out on the 'throwing controller' front. Hurling a keyboard and mouse is a) expensive and b) challenging, what with all those cables. Any tilting tips?).

The face of XCOM pain

But XCOM kicks that up a notch - the ability to name all your soldiers can just make the pain of losing a soldier mid-mission so much worse. I like to name them after my friends and loved ones. That might be a little weird (it is), but it seems metaphoric self-flagellation is what I look for in my spare time.

Counting the losses on my current Classic Ironman playthrough

XCOM makes it personal; it makes it hurt. It's simple to pick up and play (and there are some not-so-insane difficulties), but has enough depth that, even having logged 70 or so hours, I'm still finding new techniques, tactics and making stupid, glorious mistakes. It encourages careful planning, meticulous execution, and risk-avoidance, while practically forcing you to take risks at the same time.

In case you hadn't figured it out by now, I really can't recommend XCOM enough. It's one of my favourite games released in the last few years, and I seem to only be able to go a few weeks without coming back to it. It's on sale a whole bunch these days and is available on pretty much every platform (including iOS). If you love strategy gaming and a bit of pain, check it out.